What Parents Really Want to Know About Their Child’s Sleep: The Most Common Questions Explained

As a Sleep consultant, I hear the same core questions from parents every single week. Whether you have a newborn, a busy toddler, or a school-aged child, the worries are almost always rooted in the same place:
Parents want to understand why sleep feels hard and how to support it gently and effectively.

Sleep can feel overwhelming when you’re tired, confused by conflicting advice, and unsure what your child truly needs. The Sleep Nanny® approach is designed to take away that overwhelm by offering clear, compassionate, biologically aligned guidance. Below, you’ll find answers to the most common sleep questions - always grounded in our Sleep Nanny® principles of gentle support, emotional security, and healthy routines.

1. “What time should my child go to bed?”

One of the most common questions parents ask is when bedtime should be. The Sleep Nanny® philosophy teaches that bedtime is not determined by a rigid clock time, but by biological rhythms - your child’s natural sleep-wake cycle.

Every child’s internal clock is different, and bedtime needs to align with their sleep pressure (the tiredness that builds through the day) and their circadian rhythm (their natural 24-hour cycle). When bedtime matches these biological cues, settling becomes smoother, faster, and more predictable.

Basic guidance:

• Most children sleep best with a bedtime somewhere between 6pm and 8pm, depending on age, nap structure, and individual temperament.

• An overtired child will find it much harder to settle, may wake more frequently, and can become increasingly dysregulated.

• A bedtime that’s too early can also backfire, creating long periods of restlessness or bedtime resistance.

• The ideal bedtime is when your child consistently shows tired cues - slowing down, rubbing eyes, zoning out - before they tip into overtiredness.

By following your child’s natural rhythm rather than the clock alone, sleep becomes far more harmonious.

2. “Why is my child waking in the night?”

Night waking is a perfectly normal part of sleep, but frequent or prolonged waking can be exhausting for everyone in the house. In my approach, we will look closely at why a child struggles to resettle between sleep cycles.

Children - just like adults - experience light phases of sleep throughout the night. The difference is that some children rely on specific settling methods to fall back asleep. When those methods are missing (feeding, rocking, patting), they signal for help.

Common causes of night waking:

• Being overtired at bedtime

• Reliance on a parent-led settling method

• Developmental changes or emotional leaps

• An unsupportive sleep environment

• An imbalance of daytime sleep (too much or too little)

We use gentle behavioural shaping to help children go from multiple, exhausting night wakes to confident resettles. The goal is never to leave a child to cry, but to support them in learning age-appropriate settling skills while maintaining connection and reassurance.

3. “How do I get longer, more predictable naps?”

Naps are a huge part of the philosophy because daytime sleep affects every aspect of a child’s wellbeing - and their night-time sleep. Children who nap well are usually more regulated, calmer, and far easier to settle at bedtime.

Short or unpredictable naps often come from a mismatch between your child’s needs and the routine they’re in. The good news is that once we align these, nap length and quality often improve quickly.

Naps matter because they:

• Support physical and cognitive development

• Protect and stabilise nighttime sleep

• Improve behaviour and emotional regulation

• Prevent overtiredness

• Make bedtime smoother and more peaceful

Common reasons for short naps:

• wake windows that are too short or too long

• Overstimulation before sleep

• Inconsistent daytime structure

• An environment that isn’t dark, calm, or predictable

Our approach focuses on creating age-appropriate nap schedules and predictable daily rhythms that help your child’s internal clock sync. When naps happen at biologically suitable times, sleep becomes naturally deeper and longer.

4. “Is this a sleep regression?”

Sleep regressions can feel sudden and frustrating, but from a Sleep Coach perspective, they are actually a positive sign of development. A regression simply means your child is learning a new skill or experiencing emotional growth, which temporarily disrupts sleep.

During regressions, your child needs more support, not less. They may become clingier, need reassurance, or struggle with separation. Responding gently during these periods builds trust and helps sleep return to normal more quickly.

Common signs of a regression:

• More frequent night waking

• Shorter naps

• Increased bedtime resistance

• Separation anxiety

Sleep regressions are normal, temporary, and manageable. The key message is this: regressions do not create “bad habits”. They are a sign that your child’s brain and body are growing beautifully.

5. “Does my child need to self-settle?”

Self-settling is one of the most misunderstood topics in the sleep world. My approach is clear: self-settling does not mean leaving a child to cry or pushing independence before they are ready.

Self-settling is really about helping your child fall asleep with just enough support, while building their sense of confidence and security. This happens gently, gradually, and always with responsiveness.

We teach that self-settling is about:

• Building emotional confidence

• Supporting secure attachment

• Creating consistent, predictable routines

• Reducing reliance on specific settling props

The ultimate goal is independent sleep - but always achieved through empathy, connection, and stepping down support at a pace that suits the child.

6. “Why is my toddler stalling bedtime?”

Toddlers are clever, curious, and naturally driven to test boundaries. Bedtime is the perfect opportunity for them to exercise this new independence. Bedtime stalling often has very understandable roots.

A toddler who is overtired, under-tired, anxious, or craving connection may resist sleep simply because they’re not ready to wind down emotionally.

Common reasons for bedtime battles:

• Overtiredness

• A nap that was too long or too late

• Lack of consistent routine

• Separation anxiety

• A need for connection and control

Gentle strategies such as structured bedtime routines, simple sleep rules, positive reinforcement, and a calm, predictable environment help toddlers feel safe, understood, and ready to settle.

7. “Why is my child waking at 5am?”

Early rising is incredibly common - and incredibly frustrating. We looks at early waking as a sign of imbalance somewhere in the sleep system.

If bedtime, naps, environment, or sleep associations aren’t aligned with your child’s biology, their body may signal “morning” far too early.

Consider factors like:

• Bedtime timing

• Nap length and structure

• Light levels in the room

• Temperature

• Sleep associations

• Overtiredness creating early-morning cortisol spikes

The good news: early waking almost always improves once the underlying imbalance is corrected.

8. “Is my child’s sleep environment supportive?”

A child’s sleep environment plays a major role in the quality of their sleep. We recommend a calm, consistent, simple environment that promotes deep rest.

Key Environment elements:

• A dark room, especially in the early morning

• White noise to block sudden household sounds

• A cool, comfortable temperature

• A clutter-free, safe sleep space

• Predictable cues that help your child feel secure

When the sleep environment is right, children settle more easily and sleep more deeply.

9. “Can I co-sleep?” / “How do we stop co-sleeping?”

We recognise that families make different choices, and the goal is always safe sleep combined with healthy sleep habits.

Co-sleeping can be a positive experience for many parents, when done safely and intentionally. However, it can also create challenges for families who feel ready for more independence.

If families choose to co-sleep, we support:

• Safe sleep practices

• Understanding how co-sleeping influences sleep patterns

• Responding sensitively to the child's needs

If transitioning away from co-sleeping:

We will use methods that are gentle with step-by-step transitions that prioritise:

• Emotional security

• Attachment

• Consistency

• Comfort

The journey is never rushed and always tailored to the child.

10. “Could something else be affecting sleep?”

Sleep is interconnected with every aspect of a child’s wellbeing. We look at the whole child, acknowledging that sleep is impacted by physical, emotional, developmental, and sensory factors.

Areas to consider:

• Reflux, allergies, or physical discomfort

• Nutrition

• Sensory preferences

• Emotional connection and security

• Daily stimulation and rhythm

• Developmental stage

By understanding the child holistically, we can support sleep far more successfully.

Final Thoughts

Parents want clarity, confidence, and a plan - and that is exactly what my approach provides. It focuses on gentle, responsive methods, respect for development, and a belief that sleep should enhance family life, not cause stress.

Every child is capable of healthy sleep, and every family deserves support that feels kind, aligned, and achievable. If you would like support or guidance with your child's sleep then you can book a call with me using the link below and we can chat about what route is best for you and your family.

api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/bookings/compsleepcall-a183c02f-96b4-403f-bb65-e6716158695c

Katie xx